Here we have a ordinary looking Egyptian Mau named Mrs Mc Fluffums. Just a cute typical unassuming ordinary house cat. But that is far from the truth.
Mrs Mc Fluffums is owned by 97 year old Tilly Fran Zoodle who was gifted the cat as a kitten. Being a indoor/out door cat Tilly was completely unaware of Mrs Mc Fluffums dual life style. Posh, pampered and spoiled life on the inside and Dark reigning terror from hell out side.
On April 1st 2019 several cyclist club around filed complaints with the city of Fiazco California due to the high volume of scratches and attacks on there group rides. The situation escalated dramatically when one Mr Shram Mon O who was thrown from his bike into a crab tank full of angry snappy crabs filed a law suit again Mrs Zoodle for allowing her devil cat to roam the neighbor hood. Mr Shram Mon O was joined by 3 local cycling clubs.
WOW Wacked out Women Cycling club,
NRKC North Rookie Kookie Club.
Where the hell are we Adventure riders.
The Suffer Puffers. Cycling Club.
So what has this little innocent looking cat been up to? This devious little fur ball from hell has been stalking, pouncing, clawing and chasing local cycling club rides and with tail held high. The problem is the only way to get to good rides areas out of town is down Elm Lock rd where Mrs Zoodles home is located.
Here are some of the Riders personal testimony from individuals and groups:
In what has been dubbed the Peleton Panic about 25 cyclist riding thought Elm Lock rd. Timothy Clooawed the group leader of The Suffer Puffers were going at a good clip past Zoodles home when the unthinkable happened. Mrs Mc Fluffums was stalking the group from a distance and when they went by at about 17 mph the cat took chase. Meowing loudly and continuously as thought it was a dog. At fist the group looked back and was like awe a cute cat, then that dramatically changed to fear as the group picked up is pace due do to the realization that cat was in hot pursuit of them. Unlike a dog that goes for the tire, the cat is smart and avoids the spokes and will launch it self at the riders. Even jumping up and running along fences and trees to launch it's attacks. The Suffer Puffers were really suffering that day as they tried to out race the cat to no avail. Luckily the quick thinking group leader had the group stop around a sharp corner, that cat came around and well the group was not moving it quickly got board and left, waiting for the next unexpected ride group to come through to start the chase again.
Ben Targeted: "Well it was just another training day, rode out and just like lighting this grey animal just bolts from the bushes after me, so I speed up to around 17 mph. The whole time I'm thinking it's a dog and I've dropped it. I look back and nope it's a fucking cat chasing me. Meowing at me continuously. WTF? And what to my utter shock gaining on me. So I stepped it up to 21 mph and that dam fucking cat's still on my tail. Now I'm panicking and my adrenaline kicks in and I'm flying at 26 mph FUCKIN cat is still on my FUCKING Tail. In a split second the cat launches it's self on to my back and digs it's claws in, causing me to lose my balance on the bike and I crash. And what's fucking unbelievable is as soon the bike and me are stopped in a heap, the cat get board and trots off like meh, god dam tail high in the air like it's the queen of Sheba.
Laura Goingdown: I really don't belong to any cycling clubs, but I just started a new job in the area and sense it's so close to were I live I thought I would ride my bike to work that day. The only thing I can recall is hearing what I thought was a squirrel in a tree rustling the branches. The next thing I new I was in a ambulance rushing to the hospital with a broken arm and lacerations to my back. An eye witness said they saw a huge gray cat pounce on my bike knocking me off the bike and gleefully prance away with her tail in the air.
Mrs Zoodle has denyed all charges that her Mrs Mc Fluffums is a reigning terror of Fiazco CA and has counter sued for harassment.
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