THIS IS HUMOR PEOPLE!!!!!! No actual gun barrels were harmed.
1. GUN BARREL CRITTERIUM.
In this death defying crit race each bike is not fitted with a barrel of gun powder, but instead each bike is equipped with a special compartment that releases a perfect line of gun powder behind the bike. As the races make there first half lap the lines are set on fire and that is when the real fun begins. The riders have to go fast enough so the flame does not catch up with them. The person who wins get to ride there bike directly into a near by lake to stop the connection. And the losers, well they went out with a bang!
2. BEE CRITS.
In this exciting version of crit racing each rider is doused in a bit of queen bee pheromones. To rouse up the bees really good we with held them from the queen bee for several days, so there really raring to go and once they get a whiff of there queen beelieve you me they will bee going after her. In the high stakes race, our racers will be screaming and they are beeing chased by a whole hive. And unlike other crit races you will hear the entire hive of *60,000 bees go by, it an amazing rush. *real fact.
3. Illegal Weasel Crit Racing:
Illegal Weasel Crit Racing is one of the more painful of the banned crit racing sports. Each rider is fitted with a specialized jersey that is a little over size and designed in such a way the weasels can not escape. At the beginning of the race the trained weasel handlers insert the weasels into the people jerseys and take the muzzles off. Did I mention weasel have razor sharp teeth and claws as sharp as glass. And to make things more interesting the weasels are really hungry and we scented all the jersey with their favorite food. It take a pro to maintain there focus on riding fast while their weasel is searching for a way out.
In this death defying crit race each bike is not fitted with a barrel of gun powder, but instead each bike is equipped with a special compartment that releases a perfect line of gun powder behind the bike. As the races make there first half lap the lines are set on fire and that is when the real fun begins. The riders have to go fast enough so the flame does not catch up with them. The person who wins get to ride there bike directly into a near by lake to stop the connection. And the losers, well they went out with a bang!
In this exciting version of crit racing each rider is doused in a bit of queen bee pheromones. To rouse up the bees really good we with held them from the queen bee for several days, so there really raring to go and once they get a whiff of there queen beelieve you me they will bee going after her. In the high stakes race, our racers will be screaming and they are beeing chased by a whole hive. And unlike other crit races you will hear the entire hive of *60,000 bees go by, it an amazing rush. *real fact.
3. Illegal Weasel Crit Racing:
Illegal Weasel Crit Racing is one of the more painful of the banned crit racing sports. Each rider is fitted with a specialized jersey that is a little over size and designed in such a way the weasels can not escape. At the beginning of the race the trained weasel handlers insert the weasels into the people jerseys and take the muzzles off. Did I mention weasel have razor sharp teeth and claws as sharp as glass. And to make things more interesting the weasels are really hungry and we scented all the jersey with their favorite food. It take a pro to maintain there focus on riding fast while their weasel is searching for a way out.
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