SPACE CYCLING CAMP

Getting bored cycling all over earth?   Have you  cycled the Alp's?  Is the Tour De France making you yawn?  Have you been on every continent?   Are you ready to take cycling to the next level?   Are you ready for a metal endurance that will push your wit's past the point of absolute insanity?   Well if you are Space Cycling is for you.  Not only will you learn how to escape Earth gravity, you will also learn how to control your rocket bike and go thought a 6 month rigorous training course that will make your friend shit bricks.  Not only will your friends and family  think you are a GOD!  Your awesomeness will be awesome.  In fact when you look in the dictionary under awesome, there will be a picture of your face.   You will be among an elite group of people, like Neil Armstrong, Buzz Aldrin.   Are you ready?  Do you have what it takes?   The price is not listed, because if you have to ask you can not afford it.  

Here is a sample of what you will be learning in each stage of your training.

In the first step in reaching your goal you will be strapped to this bike and ride it until you can maintain a max speed of 30 to 45 mph. You will ride this for 65 miles a day. Why?  This will condition your legs for the exiting of the earth gravity as you leave orbit and enter space.   Escape velocity is about 11.2 km/s, which is approximately 33 times the speed of sound (Mach 33) and several times the muzzle velocity of a rifle bullet (up to 1.7 km/s). However, at 9,000 km altitude in "space", it is slightly less than 7.1 km/s.   So over a 6 month period your going to need to build up your speed to around 65 to 75.  Now don't worry the rocket bike is designed to help you so if you average around 75 miles and hour on your own it will boost your speed to around 275.   But you are powering the bike, so don't stop peddling. 

 The ramp you will be exiting off the earth will be over 1,000 yard and you will not be returning to earth and if you are well? Just make sure you don't.  The above picture shows a diagram of the optimal exiting point were you will need to hit your rocket boosters.   Mind you anything can go wrong so don't hit them too late or too early.  We are not being paid enough to dig you out of the ground.   

What will you eat on the incredible journey?  Yup that's right you will be on the Beer & Sausage Diet.    You will be consuming 2,000 calories every hour and in a day 12,000.   So feed your face. 

   Oh and let's not forget the donuts.  Lot's and lot's of donuts.  

 And too add a little variety to your new diet you can stick the sausage through the holes in the donuts and create a new dining experience. 

Now I know what your thinking and yes were going to strap you into this contraption and yes you will be pleaing for mercy... your not going to get it.  You signed up, you paid, your going in.  Due to the graphic nature of this training device.  I can not go into detail.
No bikes were harmed, however.....

We really have no idea what this is?  But it will be in part of your training  So get ready!