41.11 MILES BAD DAY TO GOOD DAY

 Usually I don't talk about feeling down in these post because it's depressing.  But this time I will, so this is how my day went.   Because there is a few others in my shoes.

Listening to Mirror Mirror by Marian Kaye 


Got up at 7:00 am and was feeling good, check both tires on the bike and there full, get ready and 7:30 am grab the bike and it has a flat.   Bummer so I missed the North Valley Ride group ride, not the first time. Still feeling good, a little bummed out but not sinking.  I have triggers to what sets off my depression and when I start sink, I fall fast.  It started around 11:00 am, by this time I was like bleh. It feels like there is a big empty void in me.  And I literally can't function.   This is why I need to be on the bike all the time, with out cycling I fall apart literally and cannot function.    So flop! Don't want to move, even thinking about doing a bike ride, it now become a monumental thing that is not easy. In this moment I'm not a cyclist at all I'm nothing. 
Hubby mention he's going to do a ride and want me to join him.  I literally have to force my self to get ready, it feels like my body is 100 x heavy than it is.    Now don't get me wrong I love riding with hubby.
Sadly all the photo of hubby were really washed out. :(    
Hubby did 24 miles today.
At 18 miles of slogging behind him, I finally started feeling better, some times it takes longer.   I looked down and realized I was still wearing my regular shoes.  I completely forgot about my cycling shoes.
So yeah everyday 24/7.  The only breaks I get is with cycling.  But on really bad days sometimes it does not help.  Those are the really bad days.
 Before cycling I was even bigger mess I distracted my self with cooking and food 24/7 and well I really went in the wrong direction.

That's all. 


 Karate fest up a 5 mile.  The whole area was blue mats and people learning Karate.   When we came back they were all lying down and doing stretches.
      

 Yeah I'm that fast!   Ahhhh 43.6 miles an hour for my MAX speed.  WTF!  
I got to El Monte Ave and well I check out what my max speed is and try to beat it.  So if it's 22 I try for 23 or above.   Turn the corner and click it over and WHOA!  I've got to beat 43 miles an hour.  Nope a de nope nope nope.  Not happening.  

Every thing else checked out, so it's just the max speed that is wacked out.

Went slower with hubby.